Breakups

[ Sneak Peak Episode 16 ]

When you think about it, lots of us are dropped into dating so early in life– especially if a person is cisgendered and heterosexual, society is just set up for you to date and start exploring early in life. From some of our earliest breakups, in addition to our heartbreak, it’s not uncommon to think we’ve failed at something important. And as we try again with new partners we attempt to apply fixes that don’t always make sense with our current partner. We can become confused frustrated that our efforts are not helping the relationship thrive, or that the relationship requires more than we can give; and alas, our circumstances result in another breakup. We get a lot of things wrong with people who are sometimes meant to be those we are supposed to love and cherish the most.

Since most people don’t enter a relationship saying, “I hope this doesn't work out,” if it doesn’t, what breakups have the best ability to do is to teach us— mostly about ourselves… individuals attempting to build unique versions of love, while revealing what to work on to get there. This love doesn't always mean what we should empathetically provide to our partners, but sometimes a breakup shows us all the ways we have not confronted and best loved ourselves. It can be a difficult discovery, learning how to really love oneself… and maybe it takes the right person, in the wrong relationship to help us see and love ourselves more clearly. 

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[Photo: originally color, @builtbymath]